Spotlight on... LYKSTAG LEMMINGS
* Well, Bob, it's been a while since we've seen these feisty rodents in action. What's been happening with them?
Jim, word from Skavenblight is that the Lykstag Lemmings are hyped and ready to go after an intensive training and recovery period in the local leagues, following their epic battle with Niffel's Necros five years ago. Under the tutelage of their long-standing coach known only as "The Brain", this team now looks like one lean mean nibbling machine! Bringing up the front are the seven Linerats - 1: Vinny, 2: Skab, 3: Ralph, 4: Jerry, 5: Stuart, 6: Basil, and 7: Pinky. As is the Lemmings teamtradition, they just have one name, since no-one really expects them to survive long enough to need to remember the other one. The first three are new recruits from the nastier bits of Lysktag's sewer system -
* Uh, Bob, that's not the sewers, that's the uptown zone.
Ah. Well, you know how it all looks the same to me down there, Jim! Anyway, they're from the slighty-less-rough part of town - though the violence levels would still kill your average joe human on the street. Our downtowns may be rough Jim, but at least our thugs don't try to chew your legs off when they're doing you in! Jerry, Basil, and Pinky are veterans from the Necros bash, and they don't look quite as terrified as the others. Rumour has it that if they survive this and the next game they might actually get some last names for themselves! Stuart, wearing the number 5 collar, has a special place in the team's heart as he replaces linerat Mickey, who is apparently still doing quite well for himself in the front line of Niffel's Necros. Not bad for a dead rat!
* Yes, Bob, the Necros sure did capitalise on that unexpected gain!
Numbers 8 and 9 are the tough Storm Vermin, Vince Hamstrong and Skritch Ripizeyezout. Both are newcomers to the big league, though Vince has some hefty (if not somewhat soiled) shoes to fill as he's one of the younger littermates of none other than Clint Hamstrong, whose career was so tragically cut short on that bloody battlefield - er, I mean 'pitch' - five years ago. Jim, over to you!
* Thanks Bob. Wearing the number 10 collar is the Horde's current hero, Speedy Gonzales - who as we can see in this replay from the Necros match proved himself time and again, scoring one touchdown and doing a devastating match-saving tackle on Vin Kluless, the Necros number 6 wight, that kept them in the game. This hamster is one plucky running back, and there's a lot of lady rats out there who's like him to be the father of their litters! Let's see if he can survive this game first though. Number 11 is Wotzie Werdigoe, another veteran from the Necros game, who you'll remember successfully managed to distract - not to mention enrage - the number 9 Vampire Count Viktor Von Krypt by calling him a toothless vegetarian - the chase that resulted up and down the wide zone is still shown occasionally on "Blood Bowl's funniest moments" today. Bob?
You know Jim, that still has me in tears - if the final whistle hadn't blown when it did I'm sure Werdigoe would surely have been torn into tatters! Finally, bringing up the rear is the Lemmings' number 12, star thrower Skyrr Venomax. He's been doing well in the local leagues, and is infamous for his long bomb trademark "Skyrr's Throwback", which we'll hope to see in tomorrow's game, live on Cabalvision.
* Lemmings coach "The Brain" seems quietly confident - as usual - that this team can win the game. Just in case though, their new Apothecary Doc "Two-Tails" Amok is ready for anything, having recently taken a refresher course with the Blightskabb Plague Lords. Sports afficionados will note that the Lemmings number 13 thrower Chuck Darbull is sitting this game as he is still recovering from that mauling he got in the friendly against the Lustrian Raptors when one of their Saurian blockers mistook him for lunch! Word from the roads to Skavenblight indicate that the Lemmings' adoring fans "the Horde" is going to be out in force at the game - two villages and several roadside inns have already been torn to pieces by the over-zealous rodents! That's the lowdown on the Lemmings team - what can you tell us about the Raiders, Bob?
Spotlight on... NEW ALBION RAIDERS
Well, Jim, after a slump of many years, the Raiders' new coach Serven Goranneriksson - imported from Norsca - has turned this team right around with a brand new, fast moving, hard hitting running-game line up of 3 blitzers, including the famously stupid -
* And angry, Bob. Don't forget angry.
- Indeed, thanks Jim. Famously stupid - and angry - Brick Hurdzon, and three catchers, one of whom is the now legendary John Smith (Esq.) bribed and stolen from the East-Ostland Raptors especially for this season. The fans are expecting big things from them this year, and we don't think they'll be disappointed - let's look at the full line up for the New Albion Raiders:
Blitzers:
1 Brick "The Brick" Hurdzon
2 "Sir" David of Beckingham (Team Captain)
3 Axe
Back in the number one shirt for the 3rd year running, and with rumours of major brain surgery during the break, The Brick is looking stupider, and angrier, than ever before. The team captain Beckingham is looking right on form this year, having recovered well from that horrible "refusing to foul" incident against the Lustrians in the world cup four years ago.
* Yes Bob, many of us thought he'd never recover from the shame of that one - the Lustrian lineman on the ground, referee not looking, and he helped him up! The fans were baying for his blood, but his game's got much more violent since then, and he's won his way back into the fans hearts.
Catchers:
4 "Greasy" Jones
5 Jimmy "Riddle" Stein
6 John Smith (Esq.)
* Three catchers on this team - it looks like Goranneriksson could try to play the game in the air this time around. We've seen a lot of great play from the veteran John Smith (Esq.) with his previous team and if the rumoured bribe he recieved to transfer is true, we'll be looking for even better things from him this year.
Throwers:
7 Andy "Lobber" Gale
8 "Tiny" Tim St.John-Smithe
Linemen:
9 "Not in the face" Kowalski
10 Tucker Fouler
11 "J. D."
12 "Popper" Bennet
13 Martin "The Prof" Jenkins Ph.D. D.Phil. LLB
If his CV is to be believed, this "Prof" guy should be running the country, but he says it's all too much like hard work - he much prefers getting out and giving people a good kicking.
* Good for him I say, Bob! That's all from us folks, join us tomorrow for what promises to be a very exciting game!